Twelve
by GrinGrin
Summary: Twelve little snippets from the lives of the Konoha Twelve.
1. Chouji

_AN: Crap. Forgot the Disclaimer. Hopefully this will be the last update to the first two chapters._

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Chouji**

Chouji is the easiest of them all to get along with. For all of Naruto's blatant charisma, or Hinata's empathy, Shikamaru's keen mind, or Ino's social training, Chouji still stays the best person to spill all your problems to.

He never judges. He never speaks without thinking. He never grimaces or flinches. And he sure as hell never talks about anything he hears. That is why Chouji is actually the one person everyone is closest to, yet he's also one of the more distant.

* * *

Chouji has an excellent singing voice. It's something not really known outside of his clan or team (and later the rest of the Twelve).

The first time his team realised it was when he started singing a workman's ditty on one of their weeding D—ranks. He will never forget Shikamaru's surprise, Ino's jealousy or Asuma's bemused expression.

The rest of the Twelve are treated to his voice when a drunk Neji Hyuuga dragged Chouji onto the stage so that he had a partner on karaoke night.

* * *

Chouji was, by far, the best cook of the Twelve. But, as an Akimichi, he never ate anything he made himself.

It was one of the basic beliefs of being an Akimichi. Cooking was a labour of love, and love was meant to be shared.

* * *

If Asuma was honest with himself, he would admit that Chouji is his favourite student. But Asuma was a jounin. A jounin didn't survive to become a jounin if he didn't lie to himself.

So he doted on the Shikamaru, with his unprecedented potential. Even if his laziness made him simply want to light a fireball under his sleeping ass.

So he tried to inspire Ino, to free her of her various little obsessions. Even if her demeanour was shrill and her inspiration questionable.

But he never _had_ to struggle with Chouji. He knew that sometimes you needed to just stop thinking, or fabricating excuses, or caring what others thought. He knew when it was time to say 'fuck it' and just give it his all. And he was perhaps the only member of their team who actually still had common human decency.

* * *

Chouji had the highest kill-count of Team 10 (barring Asuma. He didn't count, for obvious reasons).

What else could you expect from a human steamroller on a team whose other members' speciality was capture and contain?

* * *

Chouji was the only one to go to his sensei's funeral, to brave the mass of sympathetic people.

Shikamaru went later, in the night, to visit his sensei for one last time.

Ino never went at all. She was too deep in her sorrow, and the meditation exercises didn't want to work anymore.

It was one of the few things that Chouji never truly forgave them for.

* * *

Chouji was, surprisingly, their go-to-guy for assassinations.

Overt assassinations were pretty simple when Shikamaru could get the target to stand still when he came barrelling down on him.

But even the covert assassinations (the death of a number of the members of the Daimyo's court came to mind) were mostly handled by Chouji.

He knew his food. He knew what types of food were poisonous in what doses, how to cook (or undercook) food so that tasters are left pleased and politicians were left dead. He knew poisonous fish and poisonous mushrooms, he knew the ways food interacted to become poisonous. He knew how to undercook meat so that it still felt and tasted well-done. He knew where to find ingredients covered in the most dangerous parasites or pathogens.

Who would ever suspect the friendly (if slightly porky) chef of killing his employer? Obviously it was the suppliers fault.

* * *

Chouji had lost only one eating contest in his entire life.

It wasn't to Naruto. Chouji's love for Ramen approached Naruto's. And Chouji had just a bit more room to pack it away.

No, he lost the one contest to Anko Mitarashi. He never cared for dango.

* * *

In truth, Chouji didn't care for sweet foods at all.

* * *

He was the one who gave the best mission reports.

Shikamaru's were _too precise_, including everything the Nara had seen and everything he then deduced about it. He was a Nara, that's quite a lot.

Ino was too prone to embellishment, of trying to make a mission appear more or less dangerous or complicated. It wasn't her fault.

Asuma never felt he should. He was trying to teach his genin something, after all.

Chouji's reports were simple, but accurate. And his were, always, the easiest ones to follow and decipher.

Even if his handwriting was borderline illegible.

* * *

Chouji hated himself. He hated himself not because he was fat (he wasn't, honest. He was stout, yes, but it was needed for the Akimichi techniques and he wasn't the slowest or least stealthy of the Twelve) or that his clan wasn't the richest or most famous. Not because he was fire-natured (so common in Konoha) or that his ninjutsu was predictable.

He hated himself because he was jealous and he didn't need to be. He was jealous of Shikamaru's genius. He was jealous of Ino's carefree personality. He was jealous of Asuma's easy judge of character.

He was, in truth, jealous of a great many things.

It was, he felt, his one greatest failing and the only one he never did manage to excise.

* * *

Chouji had a little brother. It was tradition for any clan head. A heir and a spare.

Chouji's little brother was stillborn. No-one, _no-one,_ outside the Akimichi, Yamanaka and Nara clans knew.

* * *

AN: I suddenly find myself loving Chouji.

Also? The Choji vs. Chouji debate? I don't actually care that much, but you can obviously see which one I favour.

Anyway, I'm going to try to do at least two of the genin per day, in no particular order.

Enjoy and review, please.

~GrinGrin

Written: 04/12/2013

Posted: 04/12/2013

Updated: 04/12/2013


	2. Hinata

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Hinata**

Hinata was the only one of the Twelve's heirs that didn't want to become a clan head. She didn't want to be responsible for the mess that was the Hyuuga clan. She didn't want Neji to have more reason to hate her. She didn't want Hanabi to be sealed. She didn't want her father as her advisor. She didn't want the responsibility.

* * *

Hinata's greatest wish was freedom. Not, like so many believed, to be with Naruto-kun.

Her obsession wasn't really with Naruto-kun, but more for what he stood for. Who hadn't seen him, running around Konoha with a smile on his face and freedom in his every move? He was the embodiment of everything she wanted in life.

He was a orphan (her father dominated her life).

He lived in an apartment (she had a tiny little room).

He had Ayame-san and Teuchi-san and Iruka-sensei and even Hokage-sama (she had guards that hated her, a cousin who loathed her, a sister who outperformed her and a disappointed father).

She was the one who felt most betrayed when Naruto-kun told them of the Kyuubi. Not because she didn't know of his strange chakra. But because, all her life, she had dreamed to be Naruto-kun (to be sealed, just like the Hyuuga Branch members).

* * *

Hinata was the best writer of the Twelve.

It was one of her greatest amusements that she had learned how to write well by reading the Icha-Icha novels one Branch member hid with her Byakkugan.

* * *

Hinata was hopelessly ashamed of her body.

Not because it wasn't desirable (she saw how Kiba-kun and Naruto-kun and Shikamaru-san and even Sasuke-san looked at her at some times) but what it meant for her career.

Her body was perfectly suited for the Jyuuken. Slim, supple and fast. Everything single aspect of her body was bred to ensure optimal use of the Jyuuken. Everty aspect save one.

To be blunt, Hinata was pissed because she was top-heavy.

* * *

For all the jokes Kiba-kun made of X-ray eyes, Hinata always lied to him. She would never live it down if he knew that the Byakugan _could_ see through clothes.

… Except, perhaps, if she said she wasn't impressed by what she saw.

* * *

Hinata had one of the dirtiest minds of the Twelve. She blamed Icha-Icha, but she also blamed Kurenai-sensei.

The woman frequently spent time with her outside of missions and training.

And Kurenai's best friend was one Anko Mitarashi.

* * *

She was one of the few Hyuuga who were acutely aware of the limitations of the Byakugan in terms of focus. It didn't matter if it was activated, if you didn't actively scan your surroundings.

It was one lesson she was never going to forget.

An incident with a certain blonde and a waterfall made sure of that.

* * *

Hinata's first kiss wasn't with Naruto-kun.

Hinata's first kiss wasn't even with a boy.

Kurenai-sensei had developed a new training regime, one designed to hone Team 9's tracking abilities. One of these exercises required that they henge into various civilians to track a target. The target was in actuality one of Anko-sempai's T&I-colleagues, _but he hadn't been informed of the training_.

Needless to say, if a member of T&I notices he was being followed by some-one under a henge… it couldn't end well.

Hinata had a distinct advantage. Every time the target turned a corner, she could activate her Byakugan. It allowed her not only to see where her target was, but also allowed her to see who was in the crowd she could impersonate.

As luck would have it, she had henged into Sasuke-san when the target had looked her dead in her eyes.

Seeing that she was about to be caught, she had grabbed a girl's arm and dragged her into a alleyway. Praying that it would work (_Icha-Icha, don't fail me now_), she had kissed the girl.

And, to her unending surprise, it worked. Her target had given one look into the alleyway, grinned, gave a thumbs up (_when she thought about it, that only happened when she squeezed the girl's ass-she blamed Icha-Ichja okay?_) and went on his merry way.

Realizing her victim from the lip-lock, she gave her a little smirk and a wink and went on her merry way.

She never spoke of it to anyone.

She considers the fact that Sasuke still hasn't figured out why Tenten-chan can't stop blushing and glaring at him, as one of the best pranks she ever pulled.

Naruto-kun would be proud.

* * *

Hinata had actually joined a cult.

The cult was the Acolytes of Kyuubi, a sect of the Followers of Inari. That venerated the Kyuubi as a divine Avatar.

She had actually enjoyed the whole experience. She met interesting people, learned a lot about the Kyuubi and Inari and learned that there were some people watching out for Naruto-kun (as he was the Divine Vessel of the Divine Avatar of the Divine Inari… she could hear every capital letter).

She would probably have remained a member indefinitely, if they didn't expect every member to join in the fertility rituals.

_Not even for Naruto-kun._

* * *

She wondered if anyone realized that she liked Shino-kun more than Kiba-kun.

He was quiet, yes, but the boy never felt the need to brag, nor did he ever not accept someone as they were.

Hinata may have loved him (just a little bit) for that.

* * *

Hinata did actually know she had a lot of problems.

But she also knew there were no therapists for her. At least, none that wouldn't eventually report to her father that she was "coming along nicely".

That was just a recipe for utter disaster, so she learned to live with her pathological shyness, her obsessions and her surprisingly dirty mind.

* * *

Hinata would never admit it to anyone, but she honestly contemplated suicide the day she realised that she could no longer remember the face of her mother.

* * *

AN: … I don't like Hinata… at all.

But hell, if I'm going to do them all, I'm going to do it my way. The shit-and-giggles way.

Anyway, I tried to intersperse comedy and semi-angst equally.

As always, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

AN (v. 2): I apologize once more for the update. Hopefully I won't make the same mistakes again.

Written: 04/12/2013

Posted: 04/12/2013

Updated: 13/12/2013


	3. Naruto

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Naruto**

Naruto loved casinos. He loved the bright lights, the bright smiles, the ever present sounds. He loved because it made him feel alive. He was quite sure that, other than Ichariku Ramen and a good fight, it was his favourite place to be.

And that had absolutely nothing to do with how easily he broke the bank.

* * *

Naruto was actually able to escape Anbu since his academy days.

Nothing escaped notice quite like a masterful henge.

It was also the reason he was surprisingly difficult to find, even if he was wearing kill-me orange.

* * *

Naruto knew of his cult. Generally he didn't mind them, even if they were a little weird.

Whenever he felt a bit sad, he could also count on them for a smile and a piece of candy. It didn't quite take the sadness away, but it made it tolerable.

* * *

There was a whole religion founded on sealing. Naruto was actually one of only a handful of people alive that followed it. It was probably a good thing. Most people lacked the mental fortitude for the kind of revelations the followers considered mandatory.

The effects of sealing weren't actually a direct cause of a seal. Two people could write down the same seal, and channel the same amount of chakra, and the results wouldn't necessarily be the same. Sometimes, people wouldn't even get results at all.

Seals weren't magic symbols that made shit blow up. Seals were a request, a message to some pretty strange and horrible entities. These entities would accept a part of the user's soul (in the form of chakra) and in return, they would grant a boon.

Some of these gods weren't at all picky about the offering. Others were much, much stricter. Some would even see an erroneous offering as an insult and punish the offender.

It was a terrible belief, but it made sense, once one knew what to look for.

There is a reason why Uzushiogakure had so many strange temples in their floating city.

* * *

Naruto wasn't scared when he learned of the Kyuubi. If anything, he was relieved.

He finally had a reason why he had such violent dreams, why the civilians avoided him or why he was followed by so many strange people.

* * *

Naruto wasn't quite as clueless as he apperared. He'd long since learned that a little ignorance went a long way in getting a girl to fall in love with him. It was his petty little revenge against Sasuke and his fangirls, even if none of them ever realised it.

* * *

Naruto never did understand why Jiraiya considered Tsunade the world's most beautiful woman. Sure, she was pretty… but then again, so was Haku (and that was one hell of a cluster fuck. Sasuke is still of the opinion that "he" was actually a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl. That was just way to confusing, so Naruto stopped thinking about it).

When he kept on nagging the pervert, he finally admitted that he mostly enjoyed Tsunade's 'assests' (never mind the fact that Jiraiya was actually in love with her, and not her body. Naruto didn't think to nag beyond that superficial answer). Naruto didn't get it.

More than a handful was a waste, in his perfectly honest opinion.

* * *

Naruto, for all of his luck, was also a jinx.

Any (and every) C-rank mission he had ever gone on, had turned into a monstrously complicated, life-threatening disaster.

An escort mission turned into a fight against a legendary missing-nin.

A diplomacy mission turned into a two month long border skirmish.

An infiltration mission led to Naruto having to pretend to be a male prostitute.

Assassinations turned into battles that reshaped countries.

The administrative chuunin had grudgingly labelled all of Naruto's C-ranks as the new N-rank missions, because Naruto (true to form) had defied common epitaphs.

* * *

Naruto, for all of his strange diplomacy, loved nothing more than a good fight.

Every single fight he had ever fought wasn't just a fight for his beliefs, or his friends, or his life.

It was a fight for his very being. He loved fighting, but he loathed killing.

Or so he said to himself.

(He could always hear a snarling laugh)

* * *

Naruto had actually had an entire fan-club in his genin-days.

He was not at all unattractive.

He treated every girl with respect.

His smile lit up the whole room.

He could make anyone laugh.

He had a tragic back-story (and he wasn't a jerk about it).

The sum of all these little things that made Naruto… well, Naruto endeared him to many a young girl.

(and, of course, everyone warned them to stay away from him. Those girls loved what they couldn't have)

* * *

The Twelve had adopted the habit of either punching or pinching each other to prevent another Naruto Kage Bunshin from doing something completely stupid.

That lasted about as long as it took Naruto to figure out he couldn't exactly get in trouble if he (for example) henged into Hinata and pinched Sakura's ass.

From that moment on, the traditional greeting between members of the Twelve was a hearty "KAI!".

* * *

Naruto had the highest kill count of any active Konoha-nin.

It all started when Inari (having grown up since their first encounter) agreed to escort a load of goods to Konoha so that he could visit Naruto.

After a week without Inari showing up, Naruto decided to investigate.

He found Inari with his head in his lap. He also found the trail of the stolen wagons.

He followed the trail and eventually came to what was perhaps the single largest gathering of missing-nin in history. They had started living in a huge cave system that spread the breadth of the Land of Rivers. It was easy to expand the caves into huge, interconnected caverns with Earth ninjutsu.

Naruto had snuck in, henged into a nuke-nin modelled after Zabuza. He had spent three days using clones to scout the width and breadth and depth of the complex.

Then he struck.

People always wondered how many clones Naruto could make if he were to truly try his best.

The Answer?

Not tens…

Not hundreds…

Not even thousands…

Tens of thousands of Naruto's climbed throughout that maze.

The earth shook with their steps. Whole winds were made by their synchronized breathing. Cave-collapses were common in the wake of their rage-filled screams.

Each was weaker than a genin, true. But that didn't matter when they seemed infinite.

That night, Naruto had killed 3614 missing-nin. He had collected heads worth (collectively) more than Takigakure itself would make in a year.

In the wake of that night, the night that many inhabitants of the Land of Rivers still thought of as the night the dead woke, Naruto had a new moniker.

The ant that could (and most likely, would) kill everything in its path.

Siafu.

* * *

AN: I think I'm going to have to start explaining some of these from now on. *facepalm*

The second drabble is just one of those fridge-logic moments for me. Naruto is stealthy not in spite of his clothes, but because of his clothes. Everyone would be looking for orange, but a simple henge removes that. And Naruto is the master of henge.

The fourth drabble, the one about sealing being sacrifices to the Old Ones? That's just something that stuck in my mind. Seals can do waaaaaay to many things. So I decided to raise their price. I mean, bringing back the dead as completely loyal servants? Not without feeding Cthulu, you don't.

Also… did I compare Uzu to R'lyeh? Why, Yes. Yes, I did.

The seventh drabble. He's in love with Sakura. Of course he's not going to respond to big breasts.

The twelfth drabble. You remember the scene of World War Z when the zombie wave crashed through Israel? That immediately made me think of Kage Bunshin. Hence my attempt to write something like that. Siafu is a type of army ant. Scary little bastards.

The next one should be uploaded by tonight. I live in South Africa, so my time-zone is +2. Please keep it in mind.

Also, I want to thank Darth-Taisha and 'it makes sense in context' for their reviews and also Artemis13ff and seti31 for favourite-ing Twelve.

Also, I honestly have no order that I'm completing and posting these in.

None of the snippets are in chronological order.

And this AN is waaaaaaaay too long now. Till next time - read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin


	4. Lee

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Lee**

People frequently made the mistake of thinking Lee couldn't use chakra at all.

Of course he could. He just couldn't mould it outside his body's fundamental paths.

To compensate for this deficiency, he had not only taken to taijutsu like Jiraiya to a mixed bath, but he'd also made some other arrangements.

Such as the spiked soles of his shoes. It wasn't quite chakra-climbing, but if you could move as fast as Lee could, it didn't really matter.

* * *

The sad fact of the matter was that Lee was the best dancer of the Twelve. He was just too damn shy to actually do it.

* * *

Most people find it surprising that Lee has the second most fangirls of the Twelve (the first obviously being Sasuke). Tenten has seen him going swimming and she's not surprised.

Incidentally, that's the same day she stopped bothering Neji for a date.

* * *

Lee is scared of a great number of things. Scorpions. Needles. Bees. Wasps. Spiders.

And snakes.

Gai thinks he knows the reason, but he keeps it to himself.

He doesn't know why Lee shares many of his phobias with Anko and Tenzo, but he's willing to bet just about everything a Sennin was involved.

* * *

Lee heals incredibly quickly. Whether it is the effect of the chakra he can't get rid of, a innate ability or pure stubbornness, he heals the quickest of the Twelve (save Naruto, who had an unfair advantage).

Lee has broken his hands so many times; he can barely bend his fingers normally.

The bandages he has wound around his fists have a number of painkilling seals (as well as bone-growth accelerators) inscribed on them. These allow him to break his bones every time he flexes his hands and allow them to heal in the blink of an eye.

This is what enables his incredibly hard punches. His opponents are being hit by a fist, but rather a club of bone. Lee's fights frequently end with someone having to pick bone-splinters out of his hands.

* * *

Perhaps it is a side-effect of his strange chakra-network, but Lee's hair grows incredibly fast.

He has to cut it every morning.

(it's also the reason why all attempts to tame his brows have failed)

* * *

Lee is the first member of his team to realise they are all orphans.

* * *

Lee has the strangest obsession with bananas.

He argues that they are not only a delightful snack, but they also contain truly absurd amounts of energy. Energy he needs for his training. The bananas are also an import product from the Land of Rivers, and he feels he's doing his part to support an ally of Konoha. Furthermore, his technique of banana-eating forces him to breathe through his nose, a small skill he feels is invaluable to stop himself from choking when his mouth was bleeding.

(it's Lee. Of course he's going to eat while training)

Neji is the one who has to explain that, even though these are all good points, Lee really should stop suckling bananas when he was doing his laps.

It made everyone uncomfortable.

* * *

You couldn't argue with Lee.

He was dead-set in his beliefs. It's what him keep wearing spandex everyday (it helped him focus on training), why he rose with the sun (it was a sin to waste daylight) and why he always had time for the various orphans of Konoha (he had to inspire the next generation, as he was inspired).

Everyone was relieved beyond measure that Naruto hadn't found him first.

* * *

Lee's first kiss was something he never did like to talk about. His teammates found out months after it happened.

You see, he was half awake in the hospital, fighting the painkillers, as was his nature. It was the day after Gaara attempted to kill him (again). The door to the hallway had opened up and the (admittedly gorgeous) sister of his attempted murdered had stumbled through.

She had reeked of Sake and spoke of his bravery and strength in standing up to her brother. He had listened quietly, drifting into and out of sleep. Over the course of an hour (or two or three or perhaps less. They didn't know, nor did they particularly care), she had moved closer and closer until she sat next to him and he could feel her breath on his face.

She had leaned over and gave him a kiss. It was a small, quick kiss; barely a peck.

But she had drunk Sake. And Lee was a notorious lightweight.

Even the small amount of Sake that was still on her lips was enough to affect Lee.

He had grabbed her by the back of her head and kissed her with the same fervour he expressed while training.

Temari had woken up the next day in her apartment with bruised lips and a splitting headache.

She never did understand why Gaara's opponent started sending her small lotus flowers. They arrived each month on the same day, and complemented her eyes nicely.

She never did manage to tell him to stop.

* * *

Lee was quite aware how strange his (and Gai-sensei's) bouts of "YOUTH!" was.

But, he figured, if Naruto could scream "Dattebayo!" and Sakura "Shannaro!" and Sasuke merely communicate in grunts, he was free to say whatever he wished.

* * *

Spring wasn't actually Lee's favourite season.

Oh, he did appreciate the beauty of spring, the blooming flowers, the various fragrances, the light spring showers and even (as he grew older) the shedding of the various layers of the beautiful girls of Konoha.

He loved autumn. He loved the vibrant colours of the falling leaves, how the air smelled faintly of burning leaves and wet earth. He loved the colder temperatures (allowed him to train for longer than in summer and spring, and winter was too wet). He loved the girls that could now wear kimono's, but didn't need to close them completely.

He loved the fireworks so common to those months. He loved how the wind would sweep across Konoha and cool the whole region. He loved that the cicadas finally went quiet. He loved that he wasn't in danger of sunburn anymore (his skin was sensitive beneath that spandex, damn it). He loved autumn.

* * *

AN: Finished quite a bit sooner than I thought.

Anyway, I like Lee, I really do, but I can't think of too many things that hasn't been done with him before.

The first drabble. It has never made any sense at all that Lee couldn't use chakra. I prefer to think he can't consciously force chakra out of his body.

The fourth drabble. I've always harboured the slight suspicion that Lee's disability and yet his great power is a result of some mutation or something like that. Hence his status as a failed super-soldier for Orichimaru. He either had no parents or they were killed by Orichimaru.

The fifth drabble. The bandages HAVE to do something, damnit.

The sixth drabble. Tenten really should have attempted something like waxing them while he was sleeping. This is my response to that plot bunny.

The eighth drabble. This came from a 'did-you-know' fact. Namely that two bananas could fuel a 90-minute workout session.

The tenth drabble. I suddenly ship Lee and Temari. *facepalm*

I think I'm done for the day, but hey! You never know.

Also a shout-out to two new readers who have favorited this strange train-wreck, namely Cristelia and Reedmanish.

Read, enjoy, review.

The Overlords command it.

~GrinGrin

Written: 05/12/2013

Posted: 05/12/2013

Updated: 07/12/2013


	5. Ino

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Ino**

Ino could very well do with some therapy. The only problem was that she knew exactly what to expect, and it would be useless because of that.

She has a mental catalogue of her 'quirks'. She knows she wants attention because her mother died in childbirth. She know she craves acknowledgement because she is the weakest of the new clan heirs. She knows she's aggressive and dominating because she can't bear to surrender control.

She knows all of this and she can't do a thing about it.

She's as much a prisoner in her own mind as any victim of her Shintenshin no jutsu.

* * *

Ino hates the flower shop. She hates the pollen that stains her favorite clothes. She hates the cloying smells of all the flowers. She hates manure duty.

But never has she hated anything more than her decision to wear a white shirt (and only a white shirt) on the day Naruto decided he was going to help her water the plants.

* * *

Out of the Twelve, Ino is the one person they are most afraid of pissing off.

After all, she isn't above using your body as a (naked) brush to 'paint the town red' (in truth, only every wooden building in Konoha… which is still a lot of splinters).

It was the last period joke Kiba ever made.

* * *

For all of Ino's flings, her flirting and her pseudo-seduction practice; she is the tenth of the twelve to lose her virginity.

She still thinks it's the fault of the stick up Sasuke's ass.

(She's still working on a line for Hinata.)

* * *

She never did like Sasuke. He was a stuck-up, emotional time-bomb.

But he was popular. And Ino firmly believed in the idea of the Alpha-couple.

She wishes she got smarter, sooner.

* * *

Ino was incredibly easy to bore.

She went through friends like Kakashi through Icha-Icha.

She was bored to the point of insanity until the Twelve started meeting regularly.

Since then, she sometimes wishes she could be bored again.

* * *

Ino once made a game of seeing how many times she could make the boys blush.

Even though first-place was contented by Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru, she was most surprised with Naruto. Even though he blushed as much as Kiba, he fought back. He had wicked fingers and he knew more than a few good lines. He left her blushing more than once.

(she never knew how much she liked it when someone bit her bottom lip, until she kissed someone else)

* * *

The bandages she wore weren't just a fashion statement. Each had been inscribed with some pretty potent seals that kept them anti-septic and promoted healing. She was always prepared for triage.

Until she went on a mission with Naruto, she never had any problems with her style of dress. She also didn't know that the human body contained that much blood.

At the mission's conclusion, she didn't have a single piece of bandage left that didn't cover her groin. She might as well have worn nothing up top in the first place.

She would never admit how touched she was when Naruto offered her his jacket as they neared the gates.

* * *

Of all the older kunoichi, Ino felt she understood Anko the most.

It was a pity Anko didn't return the sentiment.

But just about everyone in Konoha would agree, there were few things as memorable as Anko's attempts to scare off Ino.

In fact, there is an entire wall in the T&I headquarters depicting Anko's various efforts. It is said to serve as inspiration to many lacklustre interrogators.

In the aftermath of Anko's 'reconditioning', Ino has added a healthy fear of dango, snakes, dark chocolate and toothpicks to her list of quirks, as well as a strange attraction to bellybuttons.

* * *

Ino's first crush eventually became one of Konoha's strongest allies.

Anyone who commanded an entire desert was absolutely irresistible to a girl who loved power.

* * *

Ibiki scared the crap out of Ino.

She has known him since she can remember as friendly, yet aloof, Uncle Ibiki.

She's always known he did some unpleasant things, but it was for the good of Konoha; so she didn't care. That made him a good man. A good man that did bad things, but a good man nonetheless.

Oh yes, she knew he was in charge of the 'T' in T&I, just as her dad was head of Interrogation.

But Ibiki's ability to switch between his business and casual personalities… it really wasn't a sign of a healthy mind. She was a Yamanaka, if anyone was in a place to judge, she was.

Nothing scared her quite as much as that small smirk he gave her at the end of the first phase of the exams. That crack in his poker face was more terrifying than she cared to admit.

* * *

Ino hated Shino. Not real hatred, but a stern dislike. She never quite got the idea out of her head that Aburame were responsible for every damn mosquito bite she had ever suffered on her perfect body.

* * *

AN: I'm kind of disappointed in this one. Most of these were too short or shallow. Maybe I'm imagining things, but it doesn't feel right.

My take on Ino was that she is an intelligent young woman, but one who is hyper aware of social obligations and the relative obligations. Hence the Alpha couple reference (as in, the most popular boy and girl make a natural 'perfect' couple).

All of these drabbles also take place in a AU, hence the T&I apartment having two heads and Ino's dead mother. This will also be important in Sasuke's chapter, as he would probably spend more time as a genin in Konoha.

Anyway, read, (hopefully enjoy) and review.

~GrinGrin


	6. Sasuke

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Sasuke**

Sasuke was never quite as jealous of Naruto as when he learned that Naruto was studying under Jiraiya-sama's tutelage.

You see, Itachi had been a big fan (second only to Kakashi) of Jiraiya-sama and his work.

After the massacre, Sasuke had started reading anything (and everything) of Itachi's in the hope that he could decipher his reasons.

…

It _was_ actually plot-with-porn and not just porn-with-plot as everyone assumed.

It was still porn, but damnit, it was tasteful.

* * *

It was strange that every team had some strange similarities.

Each team had a kunoichi.

Each team had an idiot.

Each team had a serious member.

Each team had an annoyance.

Each team had an aloof member, one that little bit apart from the other two.

Much to his surprise, he found that Ino was the one closest to his role in her team.

It was the first time he laughed in a week.

* * *

Konoha had a strange sense of loyalty.

They promoted loyalty to the village, yet they had some of the most dangerous missing nin.

They promoted loyalty to the clan, yet infighting was common.

They promoted loyalty to one's team, yet rivalries were everywhere.

They promoted loyalty to oneself, yet so many sacrificed themselves.

And all of them were applicable to his murderous brother.

He often wondered how much of that night was the fault of Konoha's hypocrisy.

* * *

Orichmaru _never_ even attempted to do anything inappropriate with him.

He wishes everyone would stop with those jokes.

* * *

Sasuke had the strangest habit of tapping his fingers in a strange rhythm. No-one has yet been able to figure out where it started or get him to stop.

_Pinky-Middle-Ring-Index-Index-Middle-Ring-Pinky_

He'd never admit that he did this only to annoy people.

* * *

Sasuke hated large empty rooms.

It was a natural side-effect of living in the compound of his dead clan.

That is why he lived in the smallest of all the Uchiha's houses.

* * *

Sasuke had actually liked the system Orochimaru had implemented in Oto.

He knew it was immoral and wrong and most likely completely and utterly evil, but it _worked._

Each person was only rewarded for success. Failures were met with harsh, but not crippling, punishments. The idea of punishment, after all, was to ensure that the mistake wouldn't be repeated. So the person being punished had better be able to apply that knowledge.

It was beautiful, even if it was simple. Merit-based promotions, no politics or bragging or resting on another's laurels. You were responsible for your own future.

The attrition rate was high, but it worked. Oto-jounin were monsters.

But such a system probably wouldn't take in a 'nice' village like Konoha.

* * *

He knew he wasn't the _last_ Uchiha.

He was the last _acknowledged_ Uchiha.

He was quite sure there were quite a number of bastard-Uchiha's running around. He often wondered what the village had in store for them or even if they were in Konoha. He certainly didn't _recognize_ anyone has looking more 'Uchiha-y' than any other random person.

Except Kurenai. Red eyes?

She might as well have the fan tattooed on her forehead.

* * *

Kakashi doesn't know it, but Sasuke cared more for him than he did for anyone else on the team.

Kakashi was the true heritage of the Uchiha clan.

He had the mature Sharingan and years of experience using it.

He had firsthand experience with true Uchiha's, both in his days as a genin and as a member of Anbu.

He had the same aloof demeanour Fugaku always had, even if he expressed it in different ways.

These were all reasons why Sasuke cared for Kakashi.

He would never admit to Kakashi that he had taken the place of both his father and his brother.

He would never admit that he saw Kakashi as family.

He would, however, name Kakashi as his heir in his testament.

After all, the Uchiha were a noble clan.

It was his duty to uphold their legacy.

* * *

Sasuke is scared of Naruto.

He's scared of all he represents.

He represents Sasuke's doubt over his skills (if the dobe can defeat people who swatted him down like flies).

He represented Sasuke's doubt about his future (he had the ear of two Hokage, whilst Sasuke only had pity).

He represented the kind of power Itachi wielded so casually (red eyes, burning, and teeth and claws and burning skies and blood in the air and fearfearfearFEAR).

Naruto was a force of nature. He changed the world.

He remade countries. He converted enemies. He forged alliances. He fixed people.

He _made_.

Sasuke couldn't do that. He never could and he never will.

* * *

Sasuke never thinks about the future, save for a vague goal.

"…_and kill a certain man."_

He lives in the moment. Every moment of training is to prepare himself for that goal. Every opportunity was grasped to better himself. Every tool sharpened. Every skill honed.

Sasuke didn't dare look to the future.

He honestly thought he had no future.

* * *

Sasuke actually respects a lot of people.

_He respects Kaskashi. He embodied the Uchiha clan so well, without being a member._

_He respects Naruto. He's lived with the pain Sasuke felt relatively recently for all his live._

_He respects Sakura. She's strong enough to come back each day._

_He respects the Hokage. Strong and smart, master and apprentice. God of Shinobi._

_He even respects Itachi. But he respects Itachi because he fears him._

But he believes people should prove worthy of his respect and so he never shows it. Because if he ever expressed it and they proved unworthy…

He wouldn't be able to convince himself he always held them in contempt.

* * *

AN: This is a bit shorter than my 1000 word goal, but it will suffice.

Also note that the next chapter should be up shortly.

Warning, possibly unneeded justification follows:

In my mind, Sasuke had reached out for someone to bond with, to fill the void left by his clan. Kakashi is both the obvious choice and the unexpected one. A lot of these drabbles touch on that.

I also firmly believed that Orichimaru is asexual, or as close to that as you can get. Or, at least he is when we finally see him in canon. Maybe he was different before, but I'm not going into that here.

Sasuke is a troll.

Again, Orichimaru. I see Orichimaru as a visionary. Someone who's going to try anything and everything to find something best suited to his goals. In my mind, Oto had not only a merit based ranking system, but also a very strict one. Everyone was in command of everyone who was one rank below them, unless it was in a battle were those subordinates were killed. A jounin could order chunin, but not genin. The jounin's orders have to be disseminated through the genin-ranks by chuunin.

I also believe that Orichimaru would find the traditional ranking-system stifling. He probably split these ranks into different categories, i.e.

genin, first-class;

genin, second-class;

chuunin, medic core;

jonin, assassination squad;

and so on.

I also believe Sasuke is sub-consciously suicidal at the start of Naruto. *shrugs* Just how I see it.

I also believe that respect is a very important part of Sasuke's character.

Read, enjoy, review.

Please.

* * *

I'd also like to put a small tribute here.

To one of the greatest men the world has ever seen.

Rest in Peace, Madiba.

May God grant you a sweet rest.

* * *

~GrinGrin

Written: 06/12/2013

Posted: 06/12/2013


	7. Sakura

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Sakura**

Sakura had thought she'd die from embarrassment – truly just fall over and die – only once.

Gai had challenged Kakashi-sensei to a dance-of.

Kakashi's interpretation of Smooth Criminal had to be seen to be believed.

Sakura had to force herself not to curl up into a fetal position and stop breathing.

But then she realized there were far worse things in life than Kakashi's attempts at pop-and-lock.

She'll never get the picture of Gai dancing to I'm Sexy and I Know It out of her mind.

* * *

She never did find out where her distinctive hair-colour came from.

It was one of those little things that bugged the hell out of her.

* * *

She had never been as scared of Inner Sakura as that day when Naruto and Sasuke accidentally kissed, and Inner let out a whoop of joy.

* * *

Sakura never did understand what was so special about toads.

She's starting to think she never will.

* * *

Some days Sakura woke up depressed, went through the day depressed and went to sleep depressed.

Not because Sasuke ignored her, or Naruto wouldn't stop bugging her, or Kakashi wouldn't train her.

She was depressed because some days, she felt she made an insane choice, trying to be a ninja.

She wasn't a ninja. She was barely more than a civilian.

On days like those, she'd skimp on training even more, and try everything just to leave a little earlier.

Then she'd go home and do something completely pedestrian.

She'd bake bread or knit a sweater or paint a landscape or work in her garden or clean her apartment.

And she'd still feel empty inside.

She went to bed those days thinking she'd never find something that completed her.

* * *

Sakura had never been someone who wanted to be alone.

She always felt that she needed someone nearby, someone to justify herself. It was a strange and possibly damaging need, but she still needed that attention.

Moving out had been one of the hardest things she had needed to do. She would be alone at night and in the mornings, when she slept and when she cooked meals, when she read a book or brushed her teeth. It was depressing.

She understood the need, she really did, but that certainly didn't mean she had to smile about it.

* * *

Sakura was insecure. That came as no surprise to anyone.

After all, she was lumped in the same class as some pretty important people.

Six clan heirs (and a possible seventh one).

The jinchuuriki of the strongest of the Bijuu.

The sole survivor of the Uchiha-clan.

Geniuses and prodigies. Heirs to generations of shinobi knowledge.

What did she, weak little Sakura Haruno, have to offer them?

But, even as insecure as Sakura was, she still had the courage to face each day anew.

She had tears in her eyes when Kiba explained that little part of her she so often overlooked.

* * *

Sakura had the smallest reserves of the Twelve. Everyone knew that, but few knew what that _meant_.

As chakra-control was naturally inversely proportional to chakra-capacity, Sakura had truly absurd levels of control… and the matching abysmal lack of usable chakra. Normally this would be extremely detrimental to a shinobi's career, but Sakura could make it work for her.

Genjutsu require more control than chakra, so that was certainly a specialization she could follow. There certainly was a lack of genjutsu on her team (at least until Sasuke could awaken and mature his Sharingan).

Later, she would realise that medical-jutsu was _made_ for her. With the help of Tsunade, she could even adapt her aptitude to recreate Tsunade's famous strength. Things were starting to look up.

But the best thing about her chakra-situation was that she made an excellent sensor.

Sensors generally had a number of attributes.

Small chakra-reserves? Check.

Fine chakra-controls? Check.

Exceptional focus? Check.

Finally, she was _useful_.

It's a damn shame it was too late to save Sasuke though…

* * *

Sakura was strangely jealous of Kabuto.

He was only a medic, but damn if he wasn't one of the scariest fuckers she had ever seen.

* * *

Sakura's greatest fear was that she would end up like Shizune.

Trapped in a life that consisted only of keeping a blond idiot Hokage from killing herself (himself).

* * *

Sakura loved bacon.

Ino is still paranoid.

* * *

Sakura was very ashamed of her tights. Not because it showed of her ass (hell, if you have it, flaunt it, Shannaro!).

Because the only other people she knew who wore spandex were Lee and Gai.

She didn't want to be lumped with them in ANY circumstance.

* * *

AN: Okay, THIS one is the shortest of them all.

Damnit. These things are slowly getting shorter.

I have nothing to say about this, accept that I consider Sakura one of the most pitiful characters in anything, ever. I don't think anything else needs to be said.

Also, I want to acknowledge that my update tempo may slow down to one a day for the remainder of this series. I'm not going to say it IS going to happen, but I acknowledge the possibility.

Lather, rinse and obey!

Eh…

I mean, read, enjoy and review.

* * *

I'd also like to put a small tribute here.

To one of the greatest men the world has ever seen.

Rest in Peace, Madiba.

May God grant you a sweet rest.

* * *

~GrinGrin

PS- I'm kinda worrying that the quality of these drabbles are declining… thoughts?

Written: 06/12/2013

Posted: 06/12/2013


	8. Shikamaru

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Shikamaru**

One of the strange habits of Konoha shinobi was to always ask a Nara for the weather. Most of them indulged in cloud-watching, a habit that not only served as a meditation exercise, but also as precursor to their naps.

Nara were, almost to the man, geniuses the like of which the rest of the world sees once a millennium.

And they were delegated to weather-forecasting.

* * *

Troublesome wasn't just an idle word. It was a way for Shikamaru's precise mind to label everyone, so that he could know what they would do in various scenarios.

Troublesome was merely a label for when something defied categorization.

He had a lot of those types of people in his life.

* * *

Shikamaru hated politics like nothing else.

This hatred was not (only) to do with politics interrupting the little free-time he had, but also because it was so illogical. Posturing and bravado were kind of useless if it prevented a quick, effective and safe solution form being implemented.

Just look at the teams, for example.

Team 8, the traditional Ino-Shika-Cho trio were a logical choice. It was one of the few times where logic and politics aligned.

Team 7 on the other hand… it was a powder-keg, to put it lightly. Naruto and Sasuke were both fiercely competitive. But Hatake had the Sharingan and was arguably the strongest of the jounin-sensei. That took care of both the Uchiha and the Jinchuuriki, even if they would systematically drive each other insane.

That's another thing. Naruto's status as a Jinchuuriki (worst kept secret ever). Let's see…

Hated by civilians, but treated with grudging respect by older shinobi.

Born on the day the Kyuubi was vanquished.

There wasn't any record of how the Kyuubi was 'destroyed'.

The Hokage himself visited Naruto.

Strange birth-marks on his cheeks.

A surprising aptitude for henge.

Enormous amounts of stamina.

Put all of that together with the knowledge one can obtain from the public library (honestly… they didn't say anything about it in class, but the library is secure?) and you can arrive at only one conclusion.

And poor Naruto had to live in ignorance of his burden.

Because of politics.

* * *

Shikamaru fell in and out of love at the drop of a hat.

It was a terrible thing. He could catalog all the positive aspects of a possible relationship.

Then he got to know his supposed love. His mind would soon see all the possible snags in their lives and pretty soon the drawbacks would outweigh the advantages.

Shikamaru was frequently accused of being cold.

To his greatest shame, he truly was.

* * *

Shikamaru couldn't do seals.

It seemed a fallacy to everyone who knew him.

It certainly looked like it fit Shikamaru like a glove. A art, limited in application only by its users mind? An art that required nothing more than painting a bunch of seals and a huge knowledge base of sealing-theory.

And yet, Shikamaru is abysmal with seals. He lacked the creative soul necessary for sealing.

Or perhaps the eldritch gods that governed the effects of sealing were left unsatisfied with the parts of his soul he was willing to offer.

* * *

Shikamaru loved shogi. Everyone knew that.

What few people knew, was that he didn't love the game. Even for all it's supposed complexity, it was still set in its rules and he would have quickly grown bored with it.

But there were still enough rules, enough diverse move-sets and strategies that he could learn more about his opponent by playing Shogi than he could by observing him.

Chouji played safe, sacrificing few pieces and keeping a strong defense.

Ino tried to confuse with grand gambits and sly smirks even as her plans were set back.

Asuma struggled with the opening, but as soon as the board shifted away from symmetry, he began playing excellently.

His father was just better than him. He has never won a match. He has never even made him struggle for a win.

It annoyed the ever-living crap out of him.

* * *

Shikamaru loved sweets, but he loved his sleep more. So he avoided sugar as much as he could.

* * *

Shikamaru loved word games. He and Asuma could sit for hours and talk about seemingly nothing. And yet, in those conversations, he never felt closer to everything.

* * *

Naruto once told Shikamaru he couldn't pull a prank to save his life. Three weeks later and everyone believed that Team Seven had an open relationship with each other. Naruto laughed, admitted he was wrong, did some damage control and plotted his revenge.

Two days later, it was common knowledge that any (and all) of the various Ino-Shika-Cho teams were, in fact, not only in open relationships, but also into some really kinky stuff that would make Jiraiya blush.

Shikamaru conceded defeat gracefully.

(He later told Ino where the rumor started. Naruto still hasn't forgiven him.)

* * *

Shikamaru scared the crap out of himself. If, for whatever reason, he couldn't cloud-watch, his mind slithered into some very disturbing places.

During the first stage of the Chunin exams, his mind had wandered like that.

During that time he had made a list of the probable colours of all the kunoichi's underwear, catalogued every person in the room (proctors included), identified the various Chuunin plants, constructed nine alternate tests for the first stage, arranged everyone according to their probable age, sex and height in his afore-mentioned catalogue and identified which person's bones would make the best impromptu weapon.

He looked up at the clock and groaned.

He slept through the remaining 47 minutes.

* * *

Shikamaru had the best eye in regards to color of the Twelve. It was a small skill, but he managed to replace Naruto's eye-bleed orange with something that was strangely cheery, Hinata's purple coat with a almost identical one (only it made her seem much more slender) and he gave the best damn advice about accessories the girl's had ever seen.

None of the guys ever gave him flack about it either.

(Mainly because he was smart enough to prevent it from becoming public knowledge).

* * *

Shikamaru was the one who figured out why his, Ino's and Chouji's birthdays were so close together.

In all honesty, that amount of planning really grossed him out.

Just so they could be in the same team.

* * *

AN: I love Shikamaru. I honestly do. But canon just under-utilized him (although the same could be said for EVERYONE that wasn't a) a jinchuuriki or b) an Uchiha (and still more option b that option a).

Not much to say here, except that I feel that a brain like Shika's would come with some pretty nasty drawbacks, namely extreme boredom, apathy and the very real danger of burning out.

That is actually all.

Although, if anyone was wondering, I can confirm that Tenten will probably be the last chapter.

~GrinGrin

Written: 06/12/2013

Posted: 07/12/2013


	9. Neji

_AN: Double update. Don't forget about chapter 8, it's Shikamaru's._

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Neji**

Team 8 was scared of drunken Lee (for good reason).

The whole of Konoha was terrified of drunken Neji.

Beacause drunken Neji had somehow got it into his head that he could sing and he loved to do so.

He couldn't. And all of Konoha wept for his ignorance.

* * *

For all of Neji's apparent apathy, he always made time for fellow members of the Branch Family.

The elders who nee

* * *

ded help with household chores, such as cleaning, cooking or laundry.

The very young who carried purchases from the market.

Even the guards, who never seemed to get a moment's rest.

He would make time and spend an hour folding washing or mopping floors or dicing ingredients.

He would make time and carry the heaviest boxes and entertain them with stories and fables.

He would make time and bring them something to drink or a snack to tide them over till their next break.

Neji was cold towards those he didn't value. But he was one of your greatest allies should you befriend him.

* * *

Neji was the only one of the Twelve who had a tattoo.

He still didn't know when he got it, and if anyone knew, they weren't saying.

Which didn't make sense. There couldn't be _that_ many tattoo-parlors who would give a Branch Member a tattoo that of their clan head in traditional Geisha-garb.

Could there?

* * *

The Hyuuga clan was strange not only because it had the whole Main and Branch family arrangement, but because they were one of two clans that kept outposts outside Konoha itself (the other clan being the Aburame).

These satellite compounds held the majority of the unskilled labor-force of the Hyuuga clans. The central clan compound was, after all, the only one who had an all ninja population.

All Hyuuga were aware of their existence, but very few knew where they were all located. Even the Hyuuga Elder Council members only knew the location of three or four compounds each.

Neji still dreamed to one day find the compound that held his mother.

Though he would at times wonder how he would recognize her.

* * *

The Kaiten was a very useless technique, barring certain circumstances.

It was weak to blunt force. If something with sufficient force connected with the chakra-walls of the Kaiten, it could easily knock the user out of his spin. Couple that with the usual disorientation of such a rapid spin, and (more often than not) you had a dead Hyuuga.

It was also vulnerable to brute force, just as any technique was. Any defensive technique could be broken if an opponent could muster sufficient force.

The chakra-cost was horribly high. Generating the walls required no small amount of chakra and the technique didn't enable users to reabsorb any extra chakra, meaning that it would _always_ cripple the user's chakra-reserves.

It was incredibly difficult to learn as well. The training was brutal and the execution had to be flawless. Any mistakes could cause injuries. The severity of the blunder influenced the degree of injury. Neji had suffered everything from mild chakra burns on top of over-burdened tenketsu to the very unpleasant experience of feeling pieces of skin sloughing off all the paths off his chakra network.

So why did he go through all the trouble of learning it, when a simple dodge would more often than not suffice?

He loved seeing Hiashi's flabbergasted face.

* * *

Neji loved annoying the kunoichi members of the Twelve.

It was the little things, you know?

A small smirk here, a little flip of the hair there.

Oh yes. He knew they were jealous of his hair.

_As well they should be._

* * *

Neji's quarters was always Spartan. Nothing was left out of place.

Most of the time there wasn't even _something_ that could be out of place.

Except for three things.

A photo of his team.

The message his father had left him.

And the tooth Naruto had punched out in the Chuunin exams.

Ninja-dentists were wonderful.

* * *

Neji was actually skilled in the traditional art of Haiku.

But he would never actually show that skill in the presence of a Main branch member.

_Bored, Bored, Bored, Bored, Bored,_

_Have you reached my level?_

_I truly doubt it._

* * *

Neji was also a master painter.

He was the one who painted the truly beautiful piece that the Rokudaime Hokage had eventually hung in his office.

It was his personal little shrine to one of his most loyal friends.

* * *

Neji considered Naruto his brother. If not in blood, then by circumstance. If not by circumstance, then just because he could.

It was what Naruto would have done.

* * *

Neji was the only one of the Twelve that knew that Teuchi Ichiraku was actually a retired Anbu.

Some seal's you just couldn't bear to remove.

* * *

Neji had magic hands. He truly did.

If he ever needed a favor (or iff he was ever in trouble), he could just offer one of the kunoichi a massage. It worked like a charm.

(The best part of the Juuken was that he could restrict blood flow to _certain_ places. It most likely saved his life when Anko demanded a massage. He didn't want to know what she would do to him if _that_ happened, but he knew it would be horrifying. Just look at what she did to Ino.)

* * *

AN: … Yeah… it's a crappy one *facepalm* but at least it's done.

I have never heard any mention of Neji's mother in canon. I admit that my knowledge of canon is actually pretty sparse though, so i could be mistaken.

Anyway, I've made it my view that the Hyuuga maintain separate compounds for their civilians. These compounds would be things centered around things like spas and hospitals and jewelers and weavers and so on (because it amuses me… no seriously, I think the Hyuuga receive a substantial income from these outposts).

Neji's hair. That is all.

The Haiku thing is totally my fault. I got bored in one of my exams (we can't leave until the time expires) so I started writing Haiku's to annoy my teacher. She really shouldn't give us so much time. My whole class was done before the final hour even started. Not fun.

Uhm… I truly hope that Haiku is correct… my doubt is mainly on 'reached'. I'm just gonna go with 'reach-ed', unless someone can provide me an alternative Haiku that fits. Then I'll happily change it, and give credit where it is due.

Teuchi as an undercover retired!Anbu protector for Naruto, hired by Sarutobi. It just made sense for me. According to the Naruto wiki, his name can also mean either 'making noodles by hand' or 'killing someone with one's bare hands'. How could i just let that one go?

Read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

Written: 07/12/2013

Posted: 07/12/2013


	10. Kiba

_I do not own Naruto._**  
Twelve**

**Kiba**

Kiba was both hated and loved by kunoichi.

He was hated because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He'd tell Hinata that he loved her figure. He'd tell Ino that he would love to taste her skin. He'd tell Sakura that she had the best ass in Konoha, even if she was lacking up top. He would tell Tenten that he thought she was into some kinky shit.

All without thinking.

But he'd also tell Hinata that he loved her voice and her gentle demeanour. He'd tell Ino that he was madly in love with her eyes and thought her nose was cute. He'd complement Sakura about her resolve and her aptitude with medical jutsu. He'd worship Tenten for keeping up with her insane team and for never feeling the need to be anyone other than herself.

All without thinking.

Kiba was both hated and loved by kunoichi.

* * *

Kiba was, without a doubt, the most honest of the Twelve. It wasn't that he didn't know how to lie, it was just that he didn't believe it necessary in the (his) pack.

* * *

Kiba was the most brutal of the twelve. For all of Sasuke's coldness, Naruto's savagery, Chouji's strength, Shikamaru's plots, Shino's calculation, Ino's vindictiveness, Sakura's violence, Hinata's precision, Neji's hatred, Tenten's accuracy, or Lee's determination, he still was simply the most brutal.

Wolves ate their prey alive, after all.

* * *

Kiba is the first of the Twelve to come to the defence of another member, even if he didn't realise what he had done.

In the academy, several of the girls had been mocking Sakura's forehead, for the umpteenth time. Kiba had sauntered over, pronounced it was perfect and gave Sakura a kiss on her forehead.

He walked away with a black-eye, but at least Sakura's eyes were free of tears.

* * *

The Inuzuka's method for selecting a new clan head is very different from the other clans.

Anyone can attempt to become the clan head. They merely need to issue a challenge and fight the current clan head on the night of the next full moon.

If the challenger was victorious, he was instated as the new head. If the majority ( any number higher than 50% of living Inuzuka) of the clan agree that the newcomer is unsuitable, the previous clan head is reinstated. In the case of the previous head's death in the challenge, a successor is chosen by vote.

Kiba finds it ironic that the most 'primitive' clan is the only one that allows democracy.

It's also the reason why he is isn't worried about his status as the 'spare'.

* * *

Akamaru should have died.

He was the runt of the litter. Experts gave him less than a week to live.

Kiba was determined to prove them wrong.

* * *

Kiba both hates and admires Maito Gai.

He was first known as the 'Green Monster of Konoha' but after the death of an Inuzuka in his team, he adopted the moniker of the 'Green Beast of Konoha' instead.

Kiba has asked him about his father's last battle once, and he has never spoken to Gai since.

* * *

The Inuzuka's familiars weren't actually dogs. They were much, much closer to wolves. Stronger, faster, smarter, longer teeth, sharper senses, more endurance and far more viciousness.

He could argue for days about the various differences between dogs and the Inuzuka wolves.

That lasted about as long as it took Sakura to make a few points.

The Inuzuka 'wolves' were domesticated.

That dogs are just domesticated wolves.

Ergo, Akamaru and his ilk were dogs.

Tsume had taken one look at her son when he came back that day and asked:

"You got the tame wolf speech? We all get it at some point, Kiba-chan. If it helps, it doesn't really matter to them so it sure as hell shouldn't matter for us."

* * *

Kiba wasn't allowed to shower at anyone's home anymore.

It wasn't, as most people thought, that he actually smelled of wet dog.

It was more a case of drains blocked by copious amounts of hair.

* * *

Any Inuzuka male could tell you there were a couple of things you didn't dare do.

You made no jokes about moustaches, beards or body hair _in any form_ near an Inuzuka female.

Any and all references to bitches referred to female dogs, and not women. Any and all bragging had to be carefully screened, lest one be accused of bestiality.

You never made any reference to females being weaker than males. The Inuzuka were a pack, yes. But the females were a much, much closer pack and they held a grudge.

Kiba had learned these lessons well. For all his leering remarks, he had the highest respect for women.

Anything that could bleed for days and not die was something you didn't want to mess with.

* * *

The Inuzuka actually had a bloodline. It didn't have a fancy name. It was just the Hound Pact. It was a simple name, but that fit right in with its owners.

It was the obvious things. Elongated teeth. Higher Endurance. Wild (and nigh-omnipresent) hair. Sharpened senses. And, of course, the physical manifestation of the Pact – their partners.

But there were a bunch of subtleties too. A tendency to develop sadism. Insomnia on nights with a full moon. The desire to sleep under the open sky. Episodes of bloodlust. Overcharged sexuality. Playfulness. Berserker rages.

It was a mixed bag. But for all of its drawbacks and disadvantages, the Inuzuka have learned to use the Pact for their own gain.

Few things inspired quite as much fear as the knowledge that the Wolves of Konoha were coming for you.

* * *

Kiba was the worst kisser of the Twelve.

This was mainly to do with the Inuzuka kekkei genkai. Namely, their elongated canines.

It was really kind of difficult to kiss someone when you were scared you were going to maim them at the same time.

* * *

AN: I actually like Kiba a lot, but fanon really misuses him.

Kiba (in my mind) is actually pretty close to Naruto, personality wise. He's a charmer even though he's rude and blunt.

I also feel that all those 'dogs' aren't dogs at all.

I also feel that the idea of 'the strong lead' is a beautifully Inuzuka idea. It also explains Kiba's chivalry.

Anyway, read, enjoy and review.

~GrinGrin

PS - 500 views! *does happy dance*

Thank you guys!

Written: 08/12/2013

Posted: 08/12/2013


	11. Shino

_ I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Shino**

If Shino were to tell someone of the one technique he was most jealous of, it wouldn't be any clan technique. It wouldn't be anything excessively flashy or even that rare. It would be a technique that the Twelve were exposed to so frequently, it didn't even register as exceptional (in truth, it had joined the ranks of the Byakugan and Sharingan in their minds… namely kekkei genkai).

Shino is most jealous of Naruto's kage bunshin. Imagine a swarm of people, each with a swarm of his own.

Shino is secretly also glad no Aburame actually knows the technique. World Domination would be too easy.

* * *

Aburame didn't have eyes. They had no use for them. The kikaichuu were their eyes and ears and, on occasion, their voice as well.

* * *

The Kikaichuu were perhaps the world's greatest omnivores. If it had been alive at some point, they would be able to eat it all.

It was one of the reasons Aburame were so sought after in Anbu.

Was there any better way to dispose of a body?

* * *

Shino realizes that he freaks people out.

He couldn't exactly blame them. Normal people generally shunned those that were different and few were quite as different as the living hives of the Aburame.

But he did his best to comfort his allies. He talked less, so they wouldn't be so aware of him. He wore sunglasses, so the void wouldn't disturb them. He covered up his body with coats and hoods, so that the burrows were concealed.

But sometimes fear was the most potent weapon.

In cases like that, Shino would shed his coat and remove his sunglasses. Kikaichuu would stream from every little bloody hole in his body. He'd order them to screech and chirp. He'd command them to eat slowly. He would take his time and eat his enemies alive, piece by shivering piece.

What did it matter if his team was a little jumpy afterwards?

That enemy wouldn't threaten them ever again.

Shino would gladly pay any price to keep his loved ones safe.

* * *

Each Aburame was free to breed their Kikaichuu as they wished, provided they would eventually breed a strain-queen. It was a requirement so that every Aburame could have access to all the resources that could ever need.

Shino personally preferred small flying strains, with the occasional breeder and resin-extruding strain to make him a bit more versatile.

Shino's pride and joy was actually one of the more vicious strains the Aburame had ever seen. A breeder-based strain that fed exclusively on flesh. It was a wonderful surprise to disable a number of enemies.

* * *

Shino paid for most of his equipment out of his own pocket. For a clan that relied on numbers, the Aburame were fiercely independent and it was not all that uncommon.

But the way Shino gathered the money was unique among them.

Shino had long since learned that a swarm of Kikaichuu could eat wood just as easily as anything else. Certain breeds were also uniquely adapted to secrete a substance that was horridly difficult to destroy. Combine the two, and you had one of the best carpenters in Konoha.

* * *

Shino was actually in demand for a great number of Anbu teams. They frequently needed a team-member that specialised in terror-tactics.

And there were few people more adept at spreading mass-chaos then an Aburame.

The fact that he had one of the nastiest strains of Kikaichuu in Aburame history (and he was willing to use it) made him the go-to guy for devastating villages.

* * *

It was no secret that Shino loved horror movies.

It gave him so many ideas.

* * *

Even though Shino was the official heir of the Aburame clan, it didn't mean much.

The Aburame heir didn't do all that much. Due to the decentralised nature of the clan holdings, it was more a diplomatic position than anything else.

Most people would scoff at the idea of an Aburame being diplomatic.

They didn't realise how many times a diplomat needed to weigh his options for the greater good.

* * *

In the past, there had been a small sect of Bijuu cultists that cared for the Nanabi. Or, at least, it's jinchuuriki. In return, they were blessed with the ability to communicate with insects of all sorts.

They had followed the jinchuuriki and cared for her every need for years before the Nanabi left them. They had only found the desiccated corpse of the young girl the next morning, cast aside like a fractured cocoon. Of the Nanabi, there was no sign.

They had eventually migrated to the nearest village. They had eventually integrated with Konoha.

The rest, as they say, is history.

* * *

The Aburame didn't actually have their whole hives living inside them.

Instead, they had small and beautifully crafted seals on certain bones in their body.

These seals generated a 'sub-space' where the various Kikaichuu could rest until they were needed. They would then exit through the seals and move through the various burrows until they were free to follow commands.

There was a huge drawback to these seals though.

In the event that the seal matrix was damaged, but the fail safes didn't activate, the sub-space would rupture and spread the Kikaichuu over the surrounding area.

These mindless swarms would then attempt to provide their queens with a nest and food, frequently killing and devouring everything and anyone nearby. These rogue-swarms would them systematically spread until they were exterminated.

Many of the villages considered it one of the most effective suicide-jutsu in existence.

The Aburame called it the most successful blunder ever made.

* * *

Shino sighed.

"No, Kiba. I can't control your fleas. Go away."

* * *

AN: Damn. This one was tough.

But it's done now and I don't think it's _too terrible_.

I never understood how so many bugs could fit inside Shino, so I changed it up.

I also always thought that the Aburame would form a cult if they ever found the Nanabi. So I did it backwards – the Aburame were formed went a cult lost the Nanabi.

I also think that Shino has a very evil, if subdued, sense of humour.

Read, enjoy and review.

Or Shino will come for you.

~GrinGrin

Written: 08/12/2013

Posted: 08/12/2013


	12. Tenten

_AN: Triple update! Read chapters 10 and 11 (Kiba and Shino)._

_I do not own Naruto._

**Twelve**

**Tenten**

Tenten is deeply ashamed that she is the origin of the slang term 'youth-anize' (describing a full day of training under the tutelage of Gai Maito).

It's actually a shame. Many of the Anbu members wanted to congratulate the owner of such a razor wit.

* * *

Tenten had the most eclectic skill set of the Twelve.

She was a kenjutsu expert.

She was proficient in sealing.

She was the trapper of her team.

She was the first of the Twelve who actually trained as a medic-nin (she venerated Tsunade. It wasn't actually a surprise for anyone).

She was a genius blacksmith's apprentice.

She was surprisingly skilled in genjutsu.

She was the only one of them to actually have basic education in accounting.

She was the only one who could actually sew clothes.

She sucked at archery though.

(Everyone was damn relieved she didn't know Kage Shuriken no jutsu)

* * *

Tenten suspected she had the longest hair of any of the Twelve.

She would have known for sure if only Neji would stop running away when she brought out the tape measure.

* * *

Tenten had once spent an entire month trying to convince Sasuke to participate in a little wager.

She bet that she could beat him in a fight.

She offered up one of her enhanced chakra blades if she were to lose.

She wanted a kiss from Sasuke if she won.

Sasuke, having thought it would be an easy win, had finally agreed.

Not two seconds had passed before he was cocooned in ninja-wire.

Tenten, seeking to claim her prize, had then straddled Sasuke and kissed him.

It just wasn't the same as their first kiss. There was no spark. No fireworks.

She left him there, disgusted and confused.

Unknown to her, he only left the training grounds the day after their 'fight'.

She was still confused as to why the Uchiha-fanclub all gave her thank-you presents.

* * *

Tenten has an insatiable curiosity, but she was terrible at actually keeping secrets.

The other eleven members of the Twelve know this, but still can't help but answer her questions.

Tenten is also proficient in the use of Puppy-Dog-Eyes.

Kiba still thinks that is so unfair.

* * *

Tenten doesn't like tight clothing. She feels there is no need for something quite so provocative.

Some of the boys disagree. Trying to keep up with Lee has done some amazing things for her legs and ass.

And sometimes Tenten disagrees with herself. If these incidents are when she's can safely stare at Lee when he's training or when Naruto's wet shirt clings to him, who's going to say a word?

* * *

Tenten doesn't like doing what she considers 'feminine' things. Cooking, make-up, shopping and cleaning. She loathes the idea.

She grants herself only one exception. Her hair. It's a small concession she makes to remind herself that, even though she is a shinobi, she is also a young woman.

* * *

Tenten was the most forward of the Twelve's kunoichi.

She didn't think twice before dropping into someone's lap or slapping their butt or even groping the other kunoichi as a joke. Many of the guys have wished for a cold shower when she sidled over, casually pressed her breasts against their backs and whispered something completely inane in their ears.

Ino was the biggest flirt of the lot, but even she couldn't make them squirm like Tenten could.

After all, her body was just another weapon in her already vast arsenal.

* * *

Tenten has never been so crushed as the day she finally met Tsunade.

It was one of those strange, unforeseen perks that came with being one of Naruto's friends. She had heard he came back with a new Hokage. So naturally, she had set out to meet him on his way over. It wasn't everyday that a mere genin shaped the future of a hidden village.

Then she saw who he was escorting.

It was the first time Jiraiya had seen a true glomp. He was so confounded that he couldn't think of a single remark about the resulting compromising position or even their bout of impromptu-tonsil-hockey. But luckily (or less so, depending on your point of view) he had finally regained his senses when the girl came up for air.

Then he wished he hadn't. Her eyes _sparkled_. That shit wasn't natural.

Then she had actually started talking with Tsunade. As they neared the Tower, he could see how her wonder faded. Eventually, her eyes had filled with tears.

So he did the only thing he could.

He yanked Naruto of the ground by his ear, gestured at the distraught girl and half-shoved, half-threw him in her general reaction.

There. He had done the right thing.

(And if that boosted Naruto's chances of getting a _close friend_? Just another day in the life of the Gallant Jiraiya.)

* * *

Tenten wouldn't admit that she _didn't_ actually want a different sensei.

For all of Gai's strangeness, he had taken three orphans and made them into a family.

For that, she could forgive him just about everything.

* * *

Tenten was the first of the Twelve to get a Bingo-book.

Her next few missions were spent slaughtering various low level targets and storing them away in seals.

She was pissed beyond measure when she couldn't cash in on various bounties because their heads were unrecognizable.

Tenten is also the one most familiar with the term 'overkill'.

* * *

Tenten was the first one of the Twelve to kiss every other member.

Naruto she got when he brought Tsunade back.

Sasuke, that one day at the market.

She had kissed Sakura while drunk.

She had shocked Shikamaru into the land of the living when she licked his lips.

Chouji finally got a taste of one of his meals when Tenten gave him a rather demure thank-you-kiss.

She and Ino had gotten into an intense make-out session to win a bet.

She gave Lee one to finally shut him up.

She had stolen a kiss from Neji right after they finished a duet.

Kiba was surprised as hell the day she took him up on his offer.

Shino was very confused and more than a bit awkward when an injured Tenten had kissed him after he finished bandaging her up.

And Hinata… she _had_ to know if all the Hyuuga could do that trick with their tongue.

She couldn't help but think that Hinata tasted familiar, as strange as that sounded.

* * *

AN: Aaaaaand done!

I imagine Tenten as a fun, tomboyish girl that doesn't really care what others thought of her, but also one who didn't go completely of the rails because of that.

I'm also unaware if Tenten's first meeting with Tsuande was portrayed in canon, so I kinda' made my own version.

I also had to give a call-back to the Hinata/Sasuke deception mentioned in chapter 2.

Anyway, it's been fun, but this is complete now.

I honestly hope you enjoyed it.

~GrinGrin

Written: 08/12/2013

Posted: 08/12/2013


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